When you don’t get the birth plan you wanted: coming to terms with what was necessary for you and bubs.

When you don’t get the birth plan you wanted

I wrote this in January as a way to come to terms with how birthing my third would look. It wasn’t my ideal birth plan and I didn’t have much time to get my head around it.

I was worried about being judged or people thinking I was too posh to push. I needed to write things down to express my thoughts and fears, and to come to terms with what my recovery would look like.

Birthing a baby
is no tiny feat,
bringing one into
the world to meet.

Sometimes baby can’t come
the traditional way,
mum and bub need to be healthy
at the end of the day.

I’ve come to terms with what
my new birth plan will be,
I’d love not to feel judged
or feel worse, you see.

Following the advice
I need a c section,
trust me, I’d rather no
medical intervention.

I hate needles and drips,
I don’t want a scar,
I’d much rather be able
to drive my own car.

So please be kind,
I need you right now,
I’m a little scared
of the what and the how.

I don’t need opinions
of what you think is best,
just show some love,
then help me to rest.

So that’s about all,
the big day is a coming,
a mamma of three
I’ll soon be becoming.

❤️

Did you have a birth plan? Did you get to have the birth you wanted or expected?

If not, have you had a chance to reflect on this and process how you are feeling?

For those on Mother’s Day, or any day that you need some encouragement.

Mother’s Day

During the Mother’s Day service at church this year, I sat in the parents room feeding our third bub. He was only four months old and so I was in the thick of sleep deprivation.

I suddenly had a moment while looking down at my beautiful boy when I realised again how lucky I was. Yes I was incredibly exhausted but gosh I was so happy.

I thought about those around me who so desperately wanted to be a mother and it hadn’t worked out yet. I thought about those who had lost babies and children. I thought about those with empty nests, longing for the noise and chaos to return, even just for a day. I thought about those who had lost their Mum, and how incredibly hard this day in particular would be for them.

I felt a sudden urge to write down my thoughts. I excused myself to go to the bathroom so I could have a chance to write uninterrupted from my children. I sat in the car writing for a few minutes while my kids napped before unloading all the gear. I finally had a few more minutes once they went to bed.

I felt like this needed to be written. Sending love to you on Mother’s Day, and on all the days when things feel tough. ❤️

For the mother who’s finding
everything tough,
for the one who thinks
that they’re not enough.

The exhaustion, the mess,
never enough time,
you love them but miss
the life that was mine.

For those who long for
an extra one to meet,
not feeling like your
family is complete.

For those who never had
a daughter or son,
grieving what could have been,
that special someone.

To those who no longer
have their mum by their side,
who miss having that person
in who they confide.

For those who are longing
for a babe of their own,
hoping and praying
through the unknown.

For those who have lost,
a deep hole remains,
such grief and anguish,
unexplainable pain.

Those feeling rejection,
unwanted, disowned,
now single motherhood-
doing it alone.

For those who wonder
how long this season will last,
for those who are grieving
the seasons of past.

Life is messy and hard,
it’s really not fair,
I want to acknowledge
that I really do care.

So whatever it looks like
for you on this day,
I hope you find peace
and love in some way.

❤️